the more pounds shes got the more points. bonus points awarded for specialty moves used. aka broken cowboy, tobogan, dutch oven, or brazilian fake out.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
He violated my cat. I was not impressed.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
His wife found out about our affair the same day he got fired for it.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
Recycling day makes me feel more like an alcoholic than regular days.
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
The uber man and I sat in silence. With my underwear in my purse and my dress shoved in the pocket of the hoodie the guy gave me.
I am not walking across campus just to give you a blow job in the hopes that in return i can study more efficiently.
She stripped naked and ran around the outside of the house while I stood by the tent holding her clothes shouting "come back" because I was too drunk to chase her. This is why we can't have nice things.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
Idk what's worse.... Yesterday not waking up in my bed or today waking up in the hello kitty gown.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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