I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
it's official, i know exactly what cross streets we're at by the bumps when i give him road head
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
The basket that the Naughty Easter bunny left for you at my house might keep us entertained for a little while...
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
After i finished him. He goes "youre a champion"... Then whispers "forever"
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
That tingly feeling you're experiencing in your lady parts is my mustache. All the ladies of America are waking up feeling the same thing. You're welcome.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Sorry about the nipples in that snapchat. It was meant for the Australian.
He wanted to take me to breakfast in the morning. He told me he respects me after I said no. I told him to respect me at a distance.
Randomize
