Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Made dad pull of the highway twice on the way home so I could puke. Yeah i'd say we ended the semester well.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
She asked if she should pack the condoms, I told her I plan on drinking so much that it won't be possible.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
In 18 months of being married we've had sex with 7 different couples. Who said you can't have your cake and eat it.
I think it's getting serious, we started a jigsaw puzzle together.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
Wow dude wow that's sad man so sad. I dno't event wanna massturbate anymore due to teh sadness
you ripped my door off of the hinges, kicked it in half and then proceeded to throw it down the stairs because i wouldn't make you a cheese burger
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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