So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
Non-Jews are for practice
this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.
she was throwing up and singing "I HAD a feeling that tonight was going to be a good good night." And yeah she was still in her dress.
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Wheres my essay?
You mean the vodka drenched shreds of paper taped all over the walls of the hallway?
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
NoShamevember. You game?
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
I accidently sent a dick pic to the group chat with her family. Right after they all said it was a pleasure having me for dinner. Wana drink with me?
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
In the last 2 hours I managed to have romantic starlit sex on the beach as the tide came in with not only just a gorgeous man, but one who happens to be Eastern European and finishing Harvard law school.
Oh wow. I want to be you right now.
Randomize
