I just figured it out. Meghan has the same smile as Sylvester Stallone.
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I have new birth control, three bottles of jack, and some coupons for micky d's. You wanna have that sleepover?
you know...the drug dealer i named my baby after.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
I'll screw just about anything, but I draw the line there
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
He tried to grab your ass, but he grabbed my hand cause I grabbed your ass first. I saved your ass..literally. Your welcome.
I think I recall josh coming in to the room to tuck us in and give us a few condoms and I threw them back all furious and told him 'we don't use those.' Oh god
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