it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
i just walked in on him masterbating..to a picture of me. that definitely has to be true love.
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
We made out for three hours. Then she said she didn't sleep with redheads and left the party. So yes, I'm still drinking.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Oh you know same old same old. just eating pizza after faking extreme night terrors to get a one night stand to leave my apartment
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
