Dude go to the top of pikes peak right now to catch Kevin Bacon's band performing
The bacon? Yeah right. What if there's Tremors?
Him and Burt have already taken care of that. It's a once in a lifetime chance to catch the Bacon brothers live in concert. I sort of have a boner
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
i hope you realize that ur overconfidence only gave me one orgasm out of all the times we had sex. that's like a 1% success rate. u might wanna rethink how amazing you are.
were with a gay guy with a minnesota accent. think about how funny that sounds.
hey bro how do you do that fake vagina thing with the tp roll? im bored.
we were on a sandy mattress. i was wearing a sweatshirt with a poodle on it and eating a whopper jr. i wouldn't have fucked me either.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Oh god. I asked to "play his sexaphone" which I though was a super sex way to say "let me blow you". He fucking walked home at 4:30am
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
My dad handed me a drink and said, "This'll knock your dick in the dirt..."
Yeah he told me he wanted a serious relationship, but he's posting pictures of his dick on Kik.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
