maybe if you didn't yell 'buh duh duh da duh da dats all folks' when you came she wouldn't have left last night
I'm a gentlemen, chivalry is what i do, i'll open the door, pull out your chair, buy your drinks, i'll even go down first, but when it comes to mario kart, i draw the line. I'm sorry but i just can't let you beat me at mario kart
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
she starting giving me head in the taxi..the driver told her to stop..she looked up, said "I'm the birthday girl", and kept on doing what she was doing.
I've come to accept that no matter where I step in our apartment, your underwear will be there.
Sorry I pulled the thermostat off the wall..
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
The amount of drugs I did this weekend make me concerned about my health but at the same time fascinated to see if I could do more
Is it a bad sign starting the new year off naked, wet, and alone?
Asking for a friend of course
I'm so sorry to hear about your grandmother. Also how many grams are in an eighth?
Are you aware that you called your mom to say hi before you dragged the random guy into bed last night?
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Randomize
