girl! he was asleep with his back to me.he farted and i actually felt the wind blow across my leg.nice
it was like one of those moments where the couple runs together and kisses and everyone in the airport claps. but instead of clapping an indian guy walked by and said 'ahhhright! get some!'
You deserve yourself a blunt and a build a bear.
I just learned you can mail a coconut. I'll be over in 3 days with the rum.
I opened my door to go to class and all there was was a raccoon puking on the doorstep. In hindsight, it was a very accurate omen.
No. He just yelled "youre having one more orgasm!" So he made that happen and then he rolled over and went to sleep.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I distinctly recall there being a "I can't be dead 2maro" stipulation to going out last night. There's been a breech of contract
I always enjoy the bewildered gaze as I buy chips, salsa and beer @ 0745.
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I told her I didn't have a condom. She then sized me with her thumb and finger and tossed me a large. Then I asked her to marry me.
He got you flowers. How bad can the sex really be?
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize