I want to stick my p in your. b.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
WTF WHY ARE YOU STILL NOT DOING A BEER BONG?! THE TOILET CLOG CAN WAIT
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Except if I'm having sex. In which case you're in the bed with us or out of the room. No halfsie participation.
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Just got a motivational speech from the tacobell drive thru guy at 2am
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
starting to feel like a fuck wizard with a magical sixth sense for people fucking.
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
