Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
so i slept on a park bench last night...no hobo
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
I just put a picture of what I imagine Rob's dick looks like on it on my vision board. thank you Oprah!
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
And I was the only one who felt it was dangerous to set the tv and blender on the ledge of the hot tub
okay, certainly we can't screw this up, and even as I type, I know we will
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Randomize
