can a staight man not wear seersucker in this town?
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
I stole a road cone for their 13 yr old son. Apparently I told him to put Christmas lights on it, and "treat her like a lady."
im sorry, I just can't fuck a guy who can't receive picture messages
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
My brother just asked if I would keep having one nighters with that guy because he really likes the organic cotton v-necks he leaves behind.
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
Jen gave my number to some guy she met in NY. He sent me a picture of his weiner. He had nice shoes. I replied with a pic of bacon.
When in doubt always reply with bacon.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
This pedicure right now is the most physical I've been with a guy all month
Randomize
