yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
I woke up to him peeling the skin on my stomach from my sunburn. If he wasn't so good in bed I'd be a little freaked out.
Do you think that we can get a group discount on liver transplants? We'll be like kids again!
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
I went to the bar saying i wasn't going to drink that much. I forgot sobriety might as well be some mythical creature when you're with Holleey
I though he and I knew each other well enough that we could go to my hotel room to do a bunch of cocaine together without their being any homoerotic implications, but NOOOOOOOOO!
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I might run out into oncoming traffic. Id rather break my legs and/or die then continue with today.
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
He said we were going to get fucked up in the woods so here we are
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
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