i effing cant stand that stupid soul the new way to roll hamster commercial. everyone im with is laughing and now hate them all.
im poppin the ladies like they're bacne
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
i feel like i was in a swimming pool of captain and coke and had to drink my way out
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
im looking at burger kings website. there isnt one anywhere close to where we were last night. i think it was sent from heaven
You showed up at my apartment after 3 am wasted with a plate of cookies and tried to hook up.
Sorry about that. Except for the cookies.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
In either case, seeing now as it's basically two couples, unless we're planning to have a good old fashion orgy I think this isn't going to work out so well.
For future reference.... When you take a beer out of a 6pack... You don't insert your phone as a substitute.
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
My roommate walked in naked grabbed my hand and pulled me into her room to see her randoms dick.
Randomize
