3:26am: come over
you purposely dodge me and you could have stopped me from leaving, you know how far i live. YOU come over
4:11am: mnlodp
dude I don't understand hebrew and I'm not coming over
Non-Jews are for practice
Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
My mom is wearing Ed Hardy. There aren't words.
can you pick me up an extra syllabus
i passed out in the shower again
I just bedazzled my weight watchers points calculator. You can tell I'm gay.
I don't give a damn about what he wants to do with his life. Personalities are for pussies.
He's a cat fanatic .. That was not in the fine print when we started fucking
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
ted dressed as a cardinal led an expedition across campus. i felt like one of the 12 apostles.
I don't know. I wanna do you but I also want a cheeseburger.
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Randomize
