I just looked at the maps icon on my IPhone and "eR" was typed in the search address bar. I wonder if we ever got there.
I didnt believe in cockblocking untill my roomate brought home that.
Because the last time i saw or spoke to him he came all over me in a hammock.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
We tried lying really still and being really quiet so that he wouldn't notice us before he left the room. Forgot about the glow in the dark condom.
A conundrum I think only you would understand: how to classily post "I need a ride to the liquor store" on one's Facebook wall?
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Yeah. That's the shitty part. God, I don't want to be a step mom. Sure I'm great with kids, but I just want unlimited sex and not have to worry about making friends with a fucking 7 year old.
Does puke ruin car paint? Good thing it's raining.
So I just got motorboated by my grandma…
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
Ive completely stopped wearing makeup. Not even eyebrows. Thats how sick of wisconsin I am.
OMG. When you threw the used condom on your floor you threw it in my purse!!! I just went to grab my headphones and it was stuck to them!
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
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