Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
im not going to any frat parties next semester. for once i want them to think its actually hard to get in my vagina
And for some reason I was covered in ants... So your probably covered in ants as well
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
As its breast cancer awareness month, I'm going to do my part by making everyone aware of my breasts
She followed me back, then proceeded to find my room, get her panda suit on? And then raid my room and pass out on my couch... what the fack do I do now?!?!
haha all our friends are at the carnival and I'm on stage dry humping a 40 year old
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
So congratulations, your penis has now sent me to urgent care not once, but twice!
You started having a threesome right in front of me.
lololol that's what happened?
Stephanie looked me right in the eye while she was going down on you. It made me really uncomfortable.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Dude. Don't do acid and go to Disney on ice. Hear my warnings. That snow monster will fuck your shit up.
Randomize
