it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
if pee wee herman would have taken a snuggie to the movies he wouldnt have gotten caught
When he went down on me, I saw his bald spot... It completely ruined the experience
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
You overflowed the toilet cuz you tried to flush apples. you said they were singing too loudly
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Idk every story shes told me thats started with "back when i was a lesbian" has been my new favorite story
he said he was going to fuck me like a rabbit in heat. What he should have said was faster then a train and over before a commercial
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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