I'm going to start giving girls scratch off lottery tickets when they leave my place in the am. That way they have a chance of not regretting the night before
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
He made me write my name on his wall in crayon so he'd be able to remember it in the morning
She walked home carrying a six pack of beer and someone elses cat
SHE BETTER HAVE BROUGHT BACK MY FUCKING COUCH CUSIONS OR SHES GUNNA GET IT.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
do you think your dog feels awkward being in the background of your nudes?
Like, yea, let's talk sexy but also...LOOK! I SAW A CAT!
His Instagram is like a gay porn blog all of the sudden got conquered by the Mormon missionary that he is
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
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