i can't watch a movie tonight dude, im smoking weed
you smoke with your eyes?
The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
the table of underagers at this wedding were seated 10ft from the open bar. currently 30 open containers on the table for 5 people. dinner hasn't even been served yet.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
Dipping doritos in Grey Poupon. Why does no one treat me like the lady I am?
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
It wasn't good. I can tell by the way he fucks me he watched too much porn
So note to self oboe reeds soaked in Apple Rubinoff sound GREAT.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
I'm going through a really dark time right now
I don't want to hear it man. I just jerked it to a pic of my ex wife in a bikini. Buck up
So if her brother fucks my brother, can I just tell her that anal sex is in her genes?
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
I may have just sent her dad a picture of my penis. His name's Myron, right?
Randomize
