I CAN MOONWALK!
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Only you could manage to look like a complete slut while wearing a turtle neck.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
Her birthday cake consisted of a shot of tequila with a candle in it
Then he took his girlfriend's fuzzy handcuffs and locked me to their bed. Key is in an unknown location. He's surprisingly idiotic, for being premed.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Totally sleeping on a bloodstained mattress tonight. I love life's little adventures.
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
He ate me out while I was wearing a canada goose parka and a dress hand crafted by a seamstress from yellowknife. I came while watching the northern lights. Most arctic orgasm ever.
Randomize
