Riddle me this. What had unbelievable sex, and finally understands the meaning that things come better in pairs?
I hate you
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
the last thing i remember is unlocking the door. its like i was literally opening the door to my blackout
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
It is. We should just be drunk all the time forever everything is like just 90% more perfect
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Wrestling for my wallet turned into us almost having sex in the middle of the hallway
im on the hungover til tuesday pabst blue ribbon diet
Like, I can't stand that bitch, but i genuinely hope she gets the help she needs
I'm writing off my condom expenses in my taxes
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Dude it's 6 am and you just invited me to a hotel with a shit ton of coke. Best morning ever
They weren't kidding when they said "Go Army Strong." Best sex I ever had.
I kinda just want to steal him and keep him forever
Randomize
