Nights of college: 1. Virgins: 1. Yes.
So for a second i just thought clitoris was a disease.
Let's put it this way, it's 9am and that box of wine looks like the cure
I did the seizure Bad Romance dance again last night, didn't I?
you were really good actually. your skill is increasing over time
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
oh my god i'm in a crawl space
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Virginity is like the pottery barn-you break it, you bought it.
Thanks....I've always wanted my vagina compared to an overpriced coffee table
If the river was whiskey, it would be the best river ever.
So you are wearing a heart monitor while drinking?
Yea, they said carry on with my everyday activity.
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
It's 2016 and I am a strong independent woman who just wants someone not weird to touch my butt, dammit
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
Anyway, that's been my evening- crying and looking up diabetes symptoms. How was your night?
Randomize
