"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
Leaving my wallet at work and not going out to drink tonight...SIGN FROM THE UNIVERSE.
She said she didn't feel right fucking on her parents dining room table I grabbed the only thing around bubblewrap she blew me for creativity
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
Randomize
