Dual....:-)
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
don't worry about the neighbors I'm like 99% sure all that snow covered a good portion of our vomit
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
I made $80 at the club last night by telling him he was like a wild pony and I just wanted to tame him
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
I thought it was my alarm clock, turns out it was her vibrator still going off on the side of my face.
I truly wish I could say I pulled my groin straddling our cab driver but unfortunately I cannot
Thanks for the bagel and the sex.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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