Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
ill find time for any girl whos not afraid to grab my junk in front of 100 people
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Life Lesson #1 of 2013: double-fisting shower beers and shaving my bikini line should be reserved for two different showers.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
Not sure if creeper guy is too drunk to talk or I'm too high to listen.
Why are friend nudes not more of a thing? My tits look awesome right now.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
Randomize
