he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
no memory loss, but i'm unhappy with my memories
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
its the kind of pain that only someone with a fucking elephant on their head would understand. I'm never drinking again.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
first time i ever mailed panties back to a fuck buddy. what better of a way to say its over
Felt so good this afternoon, figured I wouldn't have a comedown. Wrong. Just realized I've been staring at a wall for 40 minutes contemplating the color yellow.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
He said I taste like cake. Like funfetti. So I feel like if he doesn't come back for that he's just dumb
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
All I remember is talking the cops into calling us a cab instead of giving us PIs while trying to wake up your passed-out-on-a-bench ass.
Randomize
