i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
Don't forget your talking to the guy who got arrested for throwing beads back at the Mardi Gras floats. You can't deny that's a first, and neither could that cop.
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
Another Sunday, another 100 chicken nuggets
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I dropped her off at home and her fiancé was shitty, it was 4:30 am. I told him I was the Uber driver
I'm still hammered too. I started tweeting the time at one point I'm pretty sure.
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Randomize
