Seriously dude, you need to stop beating off to the ellen show, it's just weird.
Duck Duck Cougar?
They threw a beer at you on stage and then you stopped the karaoke and cussed everyone in the bar out for 2 minutes
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
So apparently after I spilled candle wax down the front of my pants, I went to the store, bought condoms, and passed them out to everyone at the bar.
I thought they were lying to me about the condoms, until I found the receipt in my pocket.
First sex of the summer I'm winning 1-0
GET HOME NOW
Oh shit
Can you stop being a bitch and just take some Kaluha shots with me bro?!?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
So I couldn't find Leif..... He fell asleep in our closet upstairs trying to get changed into warmer clothes
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I just described cereal to my mother as "acoustic breakfast soup".
who is this
I'm hungover and in a fort. And I hate you.
So many questions
and eventually we just all took our pants off
Randomize
