Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
So high. I just took a picture of my chewed gum so I can remember to paint a picture of it as a cloud later.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I cant believe you went home with her.. Your poor immune system and the shit you put it through.
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Just walked into the bar to find a guy in a Boba Fett helmet leaning casually against the wall, texting. This night just got real.
Did we smoke in a portapotty last night? And if so, do you think the brown stuff covering my body is actually dirt?
Please tell me I made it home with both shoes on
Nope
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
No. We can't get pedicures until my toenails grow back.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
Randomize
