I just feng shui'd our living room furniture. You may be mad in the morning
South Carolina's governor once cited "moral legitimacy" when he was a congressman voting for President Bill Clinton's impeachment. Karma is a bitch.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
I felt like a body pillow being humped by a twelve year old.
Dude, I don't care how big her tits are. I have to dump her. She shit in my shower.
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
he fell asleep like an hour after we got to the beach, he deserved that penis shaped sunburn.
We got caught having sex in the bathroom by my professor. In accordance with tradition, we still brofisted. I think my grade went up considerably.
You peed up the stairs in front of everyone then blamed it on the dog
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
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