I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
she's not going to take you seriously with an empty 40 and a sombrero on your head.
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
if I blackout nd am found tomorrow w butterfly hairclips on my nipples and my habd down my pants tell my family I am sorry
Somehow you're a lightweight AND an alcoholic. Rare combo in one person. Well done.
She just asked me if I was going to stay the night. I responded "I know that we are upside down".
I smoked a joint in the bathtub at 8 am then went back to bed
He wrote on the bartenders notepad "phone?" So I wrote back "911"
Lol I'm just saying its too early for your penis, I can accept it but at a more decent hour
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