I checked into jail on foursquare
Ask politely.
Fine. Can i please come over, hang out with you, sit around a campfire, smoke tree, listen to sublime, and fuck the shit out of you?
Thats good enough.
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
rolling absolute tits, turn on the red lights for when i get home.
One of us will probably end up wearing nothing but glow/ neon body paint and a pair of water wings...
And I am in no way ashamed to say that it will most likely be me. I'm hoping for it actually.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
we're drinking bellinis i mean god's titty nectar
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
If she gets mad at me, that only means more free time for me. I like to put myself I win win situations. Despite being in a relationship, I still find ways to accomplish my goals.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
