I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
I've been reduced to Capt. Morgan and Golden Girls reruns. Ugh.
my dad just secretly slid me a nugg in front of my mom. remind me why I moved away for college??
you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
How did currency from Costa Rica make it's way into my wallet...?
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
let's make a party pact right now just as precaution for this trip: ill make sure you don't piss yourself if you make sure I don't bang my cousins friends. deal?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
Said he wanted to wear me as a loincloth. Not sure if sexual or predatory
There's nothing like when u really click with a stripper
Randomize
