i just rode the bull and i see vomit in my future.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
I'm hungry
Come here to eat and play. It'll be like Dave and Busters except with sex
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
Do you remember the bathroom attendant when he put out his hand for a tip and you gave him a high five?
He asked if I had any questions. Apparently, "how thick is the stick up your ass" was not a correct question.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
he force fed me pizza, ripped my clothes off, almost broke the couch, and actually broke my nose. it was a good night, i'd say 😂
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
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