everyone is single if you try hard enough
Thanks for stranding me with th douchebag award recipients
I checked for jungle juice on Weight Watchers. they didn't have it.
The guy in front of me in Sociology is definitely working on my farm in farmville. Never met him before. Do I thank him?
talked to my RA about stamps and mailmen again. when do you think she'll realize that i only talk to her when i'm high?
I got a handjob to the OC theme song. It was like going back in time 7 years.
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
you hit your head on the sneeze guard and passed out at Pizza Hut they called the police
Came home to butt plugs and dildos in the bathroom sink WTF
Spring cleaning
Well, you started screaming "I dont know you GO AWAY" to your mom when she was holding your hair as you threw up in her garden.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
I don't want a big night. But I am okay if we wake up in a penthouse at Crown Casino.
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