Wow, Pearl Harbor and The Notebook are on. Its like the Im going to kill myself marathon.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
Even the paramedic said "what a way to kill a party"
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
The best part of the night was you shouting "I have to take the LSAT tomorrow" between shots of fireball.
Your choices in alcohol this weekend are thoroughly disappointing
Honestly, this is a first for me. I've always prided myself on my ability to pretend to get along with others.
Sara can't come to the phone right now. She's currently having an in-depth conversation with a flower pot.
The Lion King Is on YouTube
Until 2 minutes ago I actually had a chance to pass my midterms... thanks alot
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
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