don't worry. When rigor sets in, we'll make sure to get you laid one last time.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
part of me always dies a little when i go to the "2 women seeking 1 man" section in craigslist's casual encounters to find nothing there. it's tragic
we turned dreidel into a drinking game. i kept landing on gimel. im glad we have 7 more nights of this
It had been so long since my last time that it was easily a double helping of stomach pancakes. I think she was mildly impressed.
I wish someone would just come knock on my door and fuck me already so that me and my stuffed animals aren't the only ones who see my amazing spring break tan. I'm not getting skin cancer so I can just sit here abstinent.
I bought 2 40s with winning lottery tickets and they paid me $.03. 'Merica
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Is it a bad thing for a seven year old to call one an alcoholic? Asking for a friend..
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I don't think I'm ever gonna need a boyfriend again. I have a body pillow, a vibrator, and I'm strong enough to open my own jars.
So you're not opposed to us ever having sex again? Because it just seems like such a waste to let a penis like yours go.
Being an adult is fun. You can experience a break up, then go fuck someone else in the woods.
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