don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I'm in my winter jacket and nothing else. very drunk. bring bitches.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
Seriously-without actually meaning the statement for it's words- that made me want to put a baby in you.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
I know I've wanted to fuck him for the past month, but when you're that hungover, the only chemistry you have is with a pillow and a gallon of water.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
You just said the word 'slut' out loud in your sleep and then made a moaning noise
My brother is coming home and he is bringing a whole bunch of friends with him. I am making him a cake. What should i put on it?
"Open for business" or "I have condoms" would probably work
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