I would have at least made out with you if you were showered.
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
you thought you were invisible so you started narrating your actions.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
Toilet is so comfy. Serious question/why does weed make every surface feel like bed?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
Send help, water and tortillas.
The 4th is next week. If we don't get to a new level of high, we will be letting down George Washington.
There is a man playing a trumpet at this brunch and I hate life. Too hungover for this. Send help ASAP.
Well, I wish you luck on finding out who your boyfriend is
No feeling is better than coming home from your booty call and putting on a fresh pair of granny panties
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Randomize
