I took off my clothes and she wanted to have sex. But then she changed her mind. So we ended up fucking through her panties or something. I don't know it was weird.
while fucking on the counter the whip cream was conveniently right next to us. i love thanksgiving
That bus ride was like a tour of all the bushes I puked behind last night
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
Why the fuck is BBQ sauce coming out of my shower head?
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
I just read "to infinity and beyond" as "to infidelity and beyond" something is seriously wrong with my psyche
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I need a beard to bite.
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
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