She is making me post-sex grilled cheese at 2 am wearing only shorts and cowboy boots. I am so in love
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Draw a picture of yourself puking and peeing on her and give it to her with a note that sys this could be your future if you be my friend
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I asked you if you needed a ride and you kept saying "no, my name is katelyn"
It was like I was playing the clarinet on his penis. And I just kept saying I'm sorry.
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I AM A SEXUAL NIGHTMARE
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