We're friends with people in his circle of friends so we're half way in. It's like I've already given him a hand job.
He looks like Ryan Reynolds from this angle
Since when is drunk an angle?
He still lectured me about forgetting shit. Than he said he's gonna paint me green so I can stand in a corner and be a plant.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
Remember the couple Steve and I heard and rated their sex based on the bed squeaks cuz we couldn't sleep through the noise? We got them back. They turned up the radio to drown us out.
Oh god iv'e slept with this police officer before oh god oh god
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
You had sex with him AND his man bun. Like not just him but also the bun.
I thought since you asked to see my dick I might as well say hi
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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