it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
we all know badassery is carried on the XX chromosome
i told you the emergency thong was a good idea.
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
Well to me, someone is not really my friend until we go to a mcdonalds drunk at 4am. It's like a right of passage
I almost took a picture but it looked like he might have a shank and I'm just not at a place in my life where I could handle having tetanus
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
