btw, but what hole was i in last night? wanna know if i have to worry
I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I was so high I thought there were pigeons in my room. Long story short there are now donut crumbs all around my bedroom.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
No one figured out why I brought along the vibrating massager.
There's a treasure map on your stomach. Treasure may or may not be the clothes you lost...enjoy
Dont get mad at me, it takes two to tango
IT TAKES ONE TO EJACULATE INTO THE OTHER WITHOUT CONSENT, AND SPOILER ALERT, ITS THE ONE WITH A SCROTUM FULL OF SEMEN.
BTW he text me to text him later after the concert to hang out. Im prepping my bed but I should know I shouldn't count my dicks before they hatch
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Last 4 google searches: class c felony, scary ghosts, peanut butter jelly time, Lindsey lohans vagina
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
I see more hoeing in ur future
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