i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Then I received a text in French, that roughly translated to "all you'll ever be good for is sex on the Internet"
i drank out of my shoe...were you seriously expecting me to be the voice of reason?
I'm in his phone as "nashville blowjob" he also has "cleveland blowjob" "vegas blowjob" etc. i'm okay with this.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
You told me "I need to pound this drinks if I'm going to pretend his dick is big enough" then left. Dollar night quotes 2012
I fingered myself to realization that I don't need birth control if there is never a guy.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
You walked up to me, grabbed my face and said "I just peed in the sink!"
ANNA YOU PEED ON THE STREET. LIKE NOT EVEN SUBTLY. YA JUST SQUATTED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HIGHWAY. And you flashed your tits to oncoming vehicles to try to get them to pick us up
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Randomize
