booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
no sex. but he left me weed, so almost as good.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
I was thrown in the air atleast 3 times by baby jesus
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
One of the finest moments in my life was when I was puking in between my legs as I was shitting, and thought to myself "hmm this shall be called shomiting."
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
I have successfully trained your dog to bring me pudding cups!
He brought me another shot of rum, ice and my underwear when I woke up.
What a gentleman.
I KNOW, right?!
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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