Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
I decided to name my penis gatorade...is it in you?
well you can't waste a boner
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
he has officially spend more money on me than any other boy. and its all gone to plan b. awesome.
i just realized the only form of arm exercise i get is holding my arms up in the stand up tanning booth
On a scale of one to america, how free are you this weekend?
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
COME GET ME FR THE HOSPIGAL'!!!!!
I think I pulled a muscle in my tongue.
sorry? thank you? I love you?
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
just so you know they found you begging for money at the L station. What the fuck did you drink last night?
Randomize
