He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Hooked up with my old baby sitter last night, so what do I do? As I was sucking her tits I decided it would be a good idea to say " goo goo gah gah"....it wasn't a good idea.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
He passed out on the patio with nothing on but his boxers. So we put our beer caps on him. Yeah he woke up with a polka dot sunburn.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
If I have to take him to the hospital, I'm drawing dicks on his face
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
my mom said i came home and fell asleep on the floor. like right in front of her.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
