I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
i feel like everytime i say im going to quit drinking someone comes along with a better idea about drinking
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
She's pathetic and vulnerable..and short. Thats his type.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
I feel like that's something that he should've asked me over dinner..... instead of with his hand down my pants? maybe not
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
I dunno that I'd be trusting enough of junkyard tequila to drink it.
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
Randomize
