In all seriousness though I just found out the dog pissed in my bed it'd be nice to crash somewhere other than my couch while my piss soaked bedding is in the washer
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
If there was a creeper hall of fame you and me would be the first two inductees
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
His roomates just started party boying me. He stood there with the look of horror on his face.
I mean its cheating, but i figure i've made out wiht married chicks before so its like a nicotine patch, quitting by doing less and less each day
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
In the middle of blowing him I looked at him and said "Your so old..." and then continued. I need to stop drinking.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
To be fair I went my whole first week without showing up to work drunk!
Randomize
