The world would be so much better with thought bubbles.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
We spilled a whole bottle of mouth wash and then proceeded to roll around and make out in it. At least I smell minty fresh.
... why is there a bottle of pee on my headboard?
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
Just set the kids up with doughnuts downstairs so I could go up and masturbate uninterrupted. I am such a good mom.
you were screaming "I don't need a shirt!" repeatedly while in the process of taking it off and flashing the bouncer. we got kicked out. thanks a lot.
Randomize
